Expectant Prayers ®

Here's a hot topic for today that my friends and I talk about!

About the time I got pregnant nine months ago, I became fascinated with baby shows on channels such as "Discovery" or "The Learning Channel".   They show everything from dealing with motherhood- to births- to families with multiples-or complicated pregnancies.   One program I found totally entertaining was the one that focuses on a family that had IVF done twice and ended up with 8 kids!    Then just a couple of nights ago, I saw a story about a family that had quads and elected to have IVF done again... resulting in 4 more children!   AND they want more.  Wow!

My friends and I often talk about the issue of IVF as it deals with Christian beliefs, philosophical views, moral issues, ethical questions, and social acceptance (especially when it comes to larger families).     I was wondering what you all thought about the issue, too.

First I will make my view clear... I am not standing in judgment of these families or their choices.  I am not in their shoes and I have not been faced with the same scenario.  Conceiving has never been a problem for my husband and I and I do feel great compassion toward those couples who want children and cannot seem to get pregnant.  My own mother had difficulty in conceiving and it took my parents 13 years of marriage before they had their first.    Mom had to undergo some surgeries, etc. in order to conceive and they had pretty much given up hope when it happened by God's divine hand.  I say that to encourage any of you out there who are struggling with the issue of infertility and think that God will never answer!   On the other hand,  I do believe that God "closes the womb" at times.  Several of my friends are adoptive parents and that is what God had purposed for their lives. 

But to be totally honest, I do not think I personally would choose to have IVF just because of my personal convictions and beliefs.  However, I will not say emphatically that God does or does not want us to practice doctor/medically assisted fertility methods in our attempts to procreate.  I have had people in my life that have had IVF.  I will say that of the couples I know that elect to have In-Vitro Fertilization are those that feel they don't have any other option if they wish to conceive children.  Sometimes that means they are their own biological children, other times they use donor eggs, sperm, or embryos.   Overall, those that I know who are Christians profess to feel this is the direction they are to go.
Some have been success stories... others have had less than perfect results.  All in all, however, I think it's an issue to consider as it seems there is a rise in the number of IVF's performed due to increased maternal ages and other circumstances.    Christians really need to consider this issue as it brings up so many questions!


So here are some of the questions and thoughts my friends and I have discussed when talking about this issue.  A lot of my comments are probably slanted toward my views, but my goal was to get YOU thinking!

IS IT RIGHT TO CREATE LIFE?  What I can't seem to get over when it comes to IVF specifically is the artificial creation of life in a petri dish.  Seems a little border line when it comes to what we should leave up to God and what man is capable of doing.    Where does it stop?  What happens to the life that is started but never implanted?  When does life begin?  If it's at conception (which is a belief I hold) then there are many children who die during this process OR end up frozen in a freezer to be implanted later.  I wonder how many of those end up being discarded or more horrific in my mind... allowed to be used for science!  

MULTIPLES:  Most of the time, when couples have forked out the thousands of dollars it takes for IVF, they don't just elect to have one embryo implanted.  They want it to work... the first time!   There are usually several embryos implanted, though the data on the matter will suggest that most physicians who perform the procedure try to limit the number to a conservative amount.  But then, if more than one is implanted, you might as well conclude that you're at high probability for multiples.   That seems to be the case for a great deal of IVF's.  I do not know the real statistics, but it would be interesting to find out.  I find it fascinating that parents then are "shocked" to find out there are several babies growing in the womb... this brings up the next issue...

SELECTION:  Most doctors will encourage their patients to opt for "selection" and reduce the number of babies.  Whoa!  That's a big ethical dilemma.   So, what do you think about abortion?   For me, that would be totally out of the question!   Selection is killing the unborn.  Then if you elect to keep all the babies, well, then you're in for quite a time.   Let's talk about the cost....

WHAT WILL IT COST:  What a huge demand on your body and your emotions, as well as the expense of it all.  Not only is the procedure expensive, but your health care and hospital costs will be greater.  Most women with multiples end up being bed ridden for several weeks or months before delivery.  What if you have other children?
Then the babies will be delivered by C-Section (costing more money), and because of prematurity will have to be in a NICU.  Some of the babies may not even live after all of the efforts!  That is a high cost to deal with on top of everything else. 

My personal thoughts:  I don't know if people really think about the "life cost" before they elect to do IVF.  There's an expectant mother that I know right now who had IVF because she married a man 20 years older than her and he had a vasectomy.  He has kids from a previous marriage that are around the age of his new wife!    Isn't that something she would have known before they were married- that she was marrying someone that couldn't have any more children?   Of course, where there's a will, there's a way (as they say)!
Thanks to IVF, she's having triplets and is due in October.  She is now in the hospital due to premature labor.    I have compassion for her and I pray for her and the health of her babies.  Still, I am aware of the fact that this is something that they chose to do!   How sorry should people feel????
 That reminds me of the family that has the 8 kids on TV.  They seem offended when someone asks them, "Did you choose to have 6 more babies?"  They say, "Who in their right mind would choose this?", but in reality they HAD to know that if they had IVF once and had multiples, the chances were that if they would have multiples again.  I just want to say, DUH!   You have to consider the probable outcomes. .. consider the affects (consequences/results) of our actions.


MONEY MAKING MULTIPLES:   So, when these couples end up having multiples, they have an instant family.  That part doesn't really bother me- especially when they have wanted children so terribly.  But, as in the case of the couples who seem to be profiting over the fact that they have so many children... it doesn't seem right.  That's my opinion.    Free tummy tucks, products donated by companies, free trips across the country... are we adding incentive to people to TRY to do the same?  It's just a question.  Some of my friends who have large families (5 or more) giggle about this because you don't see anyone beating down our front doors to give us TV shows or perks for choosing to have lots of kids.  Most of the time all WE get is ridicule.   Of course, there are other families on TV that have had huge families (like the one in Arkansas with 17) that have not had IVF, but one or two at a time.

In my own life, I know we have had 8 pregnancies resulting in 6 children.  I have friends who have had 10-13 pregnancies and ended up with 1 or 2 kids.   Doesn't seem like the pie is sliced evenly does it?

So, what do you think about this issue?  If you are a Christian, what do you think the Word of God compels couples to do concerning offspring?  It is cut and dry?  Chances are that if you don't know someone now who has been faced with the option of IVF, you will someday!    It's good to think about these things and how they relate to us and our world.  Remember the Bible tells us to be ready to give an answer to anyone who asks us.   That applies to many HOT TOPICS of life, not just IVF.  What about illegal immigration, homosexual marriage, global views, etc.?     So put on your thinking cap today and consider the issues that are shaping our world!

God bless!  Have a wonderful, thought provoking day!